For Monica

A friend’s mother died

And so

I changed clothes and we drove

To another place where people

Sign a book, and shake hands

Look at photographs and flowers

Comfort the bereaved and make small talk

And I wondered why

A friend’s mother died

And so

I looked into her eyes and felt sad

For her, and her husband and

Their family, and her father and I knew

They all had looked at photographs and flowers

And wondered why

A friend’s mother died

And so

I gave her a hug, and made

Small talk about happy things

Like her beautiful grandchildren

And their wonderful prospects

And the fun they are for her

And I wondered why

A friend’s mother died

And so

I shook hands with her brother

And her father and met her sister and

Expressed my sympathy to them

Saw some of our mutual friends and acquaintances

Doing the same

And I wondered why

A friend’s mother died

And so

I remembered my mother

And her illness and death and

Everything we did and how we felt

How helpless we were and how

Little difference everything made

And I wondered why

A friend’s mother died

And so

I remembered my son-in-law’s mother

And her illness and death and

Everything her family did and

All the things we did to try to help

And I remembered she died anyway

And I wondered why

A friend’s mother died

And so

I thought of my father his business of undertaking

The caskets the flowers the chairs

The organ playing the endless parade of

Bereaved families and people crying

And shaking hands and looking at the flowers

And I wondered why

A friend’s mother died

And so

I cried for her and for me and for my son-in-law

And for our families and for the endless parade of bereaved families

Since the beginning of time and I wiped my eyes and asked God to help us

And all the bereaved families to the end of time

And  I wondered why